How To Make Your Life Exciting Again — Silicon Valley Girl Podcast

Marina Mogilko: I think one of the most common questions that I get asked by people is "Marina, how do you stay positive all the time?" and there are two parts to this answer. First of all, I don't document myself when I'm angry, when I'm frustrated. But also I engineer my life in a way that it is easy for me to stay happy and to do things that I enjoy. And today I'm going to share some of the things that really, really helped me stay positive and stay excited and love the life I imagine.

All of us, including me, have been in a situation when you're crawling your feet and you're like "oh my God, everybody lives such an amazing life and I'm not like I'm not doing this, this or that." But there are moments that are completely opposite to this experience. I don't know if you document these moments in your head. I try to notice them when I feel so, so excited about my own life. And then I see someone achieving something on social media and I'm like "go get a girl, amazing." I try to mark those moments in my head like "okay, I am doing something right now that doesn't make me jealous when other people achieve success. It actually makes me happy for them or it gets me into the state where I even forget to check my social media. I only go there to post something, that's it."

So I started optimizing my life around those moments and I started highlighting those moments. But I also started highlighting moments when I feel the lowest lows. And some of those moments include when I am trapped in my routine. For example, it's been weeks for us without a nanny and you know, having two small kids and having full-time jobs, both of us, and like living in a foreign country with no family around us, it's been a lot. For me, when I wash, when I clean, when I take care of the mess in the house, when I do the laundry, I feel like I'm wasting my time. Like I'm a creator, I have to be creating, dancing, whatever, making content, studying, researching—not cleaning up this mess.

And then I realized "okay, but who's going to do it?" And one of the things that really helped me go through this is a funny solution. Basically, I decided to be a minimalist when it's possible. And that included removing most of my kids' toys. They didn't actually care. Like sometimes we're trying to find stories for so many things, but then we remove them and we're like "oh, I don't really need to clean up anymore because all of the toys are hidden." And they started playing with all the things they see around and they actually play for longer and they're more excited. I'm like "okay, that's awesome."

The second thing is any woman experiences this problem: what do I wear? And I realized—and I started doing it this summer—if I optimize for denim, black and white in my wardrobe, it's going to be so easy to combine things. And with occasional bright colors. So whenever I make a new purchase now, like I need this new jacket for the winter season, I just bought black. I didn't even think about it. So any action that minimizes your thinking process and gets you to get the job done faster is such a game changer.

We talked about clothing, minimizing the number of colors in your wardrobe really helps. Even like staying loyal to a certain airline—I've been flying one certain airline just because they fly to all the destinations where I need to fly. But now when I have a destination where we have a lot of airlines available, I just still go to that airline just because it's a matter of habit. It reduces thinking. And I became the gold member of that airline, so I get all the perks. I'm like "that's amazing." So minimizing things in a way that helps you make decisions faster is amazing.

The next tip is to be more adventurous. And now again, I'm going to tell you a story. My dad and my mom, they live in Thailand, and I always try to surprise them with something. I was booking a restaurant for my dad in Bangkok and I had this funny thought. You know, "what if he arrives at the restaurant and I am there?" San Francisco to Bangkok is like a 20-hour flight, and we don't have a nanny, and it's really hard for my husband to just stay with the two kids because you need two people to put them to bed. Like, I just asked him "do you think I could go for like three days to Bangkok? So 20 hours there, two days, my parents, come back?" He's like "yeah, do it."

But if I started thinking rationally about that decision—like who does that? Who flies for 40 hours just to see their parents for two days? But then my emotional side was like "but these are the moments I'm going to remember. These are the moments, the memories that make us family. Doing something crazy for the family, seeing them for two hours, sharing those experiences." And I did it, and it was the best decision ever. You know, we all cried. It was such an emotional moment, and this is definitely something I will remember for the rest of my life.

I'm trying to incorporate more crazy things into my life. And another crazy thing that I'm doing: I'm launching an offline business. It's one of my favorite ways to shake things up—exploring new businesses, side hustles, passion projects. I've launched several new projects over the past few months and have plans for even more. We launched an Airbnb in Hawaii, first ever purchase in the US. I was so nervous. Like, it's a lot of money and it's a lot of responsibility. But we still did it. Now we're about to launch a healthy kids snack brand, and I've never done any offline product before. But there we go. I want my life to be exciting.

I'll share a bit more about my thought process that made me do that later in this video. But let me give you the thought process that makes me start new businesses and try to adopt it. I was scrolling through my social media again, thinking "oh my god, of course these people can start a business. They're 30-something." I'm like "I am 30-something. For some reason, sometimes we think we're older. We have all of these things and can't do anything new anymore." I'm like "I'm 34. This is like the age that I be looking at when I'm 50 and thinking 'like Marina, when you were 34, why didn't you start this, this and that?'"

I like, I am really in this age when I can do crazy things and start new things. I don't want to be 50 looking back at when I was 34 and thinking "Marina, you could have done so much more. And why didn't you do it? Because I was afraid. Because I thought, you know, I have to be responsible, calculate every step, blah blah blah." I'm like "no Marina, no no no. Let's be crazy. Let's start doing things so we don't regret not doing things when we're 50 years old."

So look yourself in the mirror. Imagine that you're 50. Imagine looking back. Or if you're 50, imagine that you're 70 looking back at your 50s. What would you tell yourself? What would a 70-year-old version of you tell you right now? Most likely: try new things, experiment, go crazy. This is the time. One life, do it now. As boring as, as cliche as it sounds, oh my god, it made me just realize, you know, life is so fast. And you know, I'm not 25 anymore. I am 34, and that's the time to act.

Stay tuned for my new businesses. I'm excited to share the journey with you. And again, I studied mathematics. I am as rational as they get. I have my monthly financial reports for all my products, for all my accounts, for everything. I'm super organized. Whenever I make a decision, I analyze a lot of things. But I also realized—and let me tell you a story, I have a story for everything—we did this new project with my team. We started a course for people who want to write, create written blog posts, et cetera. And we hired a marketer from another company to just help us with the launch for two months. He's been working with us, and then we had this final call. I'm like "okay, what do you think? Like, tell me what needs to be improved?" And he's like "Marina, your team is amazing. All the systems are in place. You have numbers for everything. But I worked with so many creative people, and I wonder, like, Marina, where are those crazy things that creative people do? Why weren't there a meeting when you came and said like 'hey guys, I want to change everything'?"

And I was like "yeah, I actually had those thoughts in the middle of the process, but I thought, you know, because we agreed on everything, I didn't want to do it because it's irresponsible." He's like "Marina, this is what you need in your life. Like, if you don't like something, don't wait. Just do something. Even crazier." And it gave me this freedom to like, just even if we blend everything, let's just try something else. If it's not working, if I feel it's not working, let's just pivot and see what happens.

He gave me this freedom because, for some reason, I thought everyone is so organized and responsible, and I have to be that way. But my team was actually like "yeah, Marina, be yourself, be crazy please. We're willing to experience that, and we're willing to adapt for you." And I'm like "oh wow, this is actually what creative people do. And if I want to do more creative work, I have to adopt this mindset," which actually again resonates a lot with me.

So again, this is why starting new things is so, so exciting. Try to calculate less. Try to act more out of your emotion because you feel what's right. Like, I don't have any expertise in launching food brands, but I feel so passionate about this problem. And if you watch my videos about business ideas, I constantly mention something for the food industry because it's crazy how bad it is here in the US, especially if you have children and they go to schools. And now I'm like "wow, yeah, why not? Like, who else?" I've been talking about these business ideas for years. Nobody did them. Some of them were released to the market, but some of them were not. Like, okay, then I will do it. I'm passionate about it. I'm passionate enough. I have a great co-founder. Let's do it.

The next tip is to surround yourself with inspiring people. And yes, you are the average of the people who surround you. And this is why I still live in Silicon Valley and I pay this huge rent. I pay a lot in electricity costs. We pay thousands of dollars just to see our family. And I will keep living here because this is the place where I meet the most exciting people.

I was talking to Raj Gal, the founder of Salena. Please watch it on this channel. But he said one thing that really resonated with me. He was like "I'm going to stay in Silicon Valley and start new business ideas until I build a billion-dollar company." And his 10th business idea was Salena, and he built it. And you know, he's still in Silicon Valley. But I just realized, this is the most exciting place for me. And does it make sense to stay here? Like, a lot of people, especially when we just moved here, they're like "Marina, you're a creator. You can work from anywhere. Oh, your business is not—you know, you're not supposed to be in Silicon Valley. You're not building rockets and spaceships. Like, what is common between you and Silicon Valley?" But this is the best place for me. The most inspiring people are here and in LA and in New York. But this is also the best place to raise kids. I like, yeah, well, as long as we can afford living here, we'll keep living here because the amount of ideas I get here, the people who I meet here—they're like the most inspiring people.

I was talking to a lady today who helped ban artificial dyes in California school lunches. And yeah, she's amazing. She has her own kids' healthy food brand.

And the last but not least: choose challenges that scare you a little, or maybe not a little. But challenge yourself all the time. If not now, then when? Go 10 to 20 percent beyond your comfort level every single day and try to improve everything you do by at least 10 to 20 percent all the time.

I always ask myself like "okay, I've recently met this entrepreneur. They're doing toothpastes." And she said "when we create a toothpaste, I think about the psychology of teeth. Like, teeth have to bite something. They have to go deep into something. And when I think of which essential oils to add to give it a certain smell, I think about the psychology. Like, in the evening you want to relax. In the morning you want to energize. And this oil represents this. This oil represents that." And she also has a clothing brand which also has like a very deep story.

I'm like "how do you come up with all these stories?" She's like "because if you want to be the best on the market, you have to really think deep. And why would you even make a product if you don't want to be the best in the market?" And I'm like "this is such a great approach." Even if you know it's going to be very hard to be the best in the market, if you have this intention, you're really going to end up a lot better, a lot higher in your progress versus like having a mindset "oh my god, I'm just going to create something that's nice."

I always have this mindset: I'm going to create something that's the best, and I will try to improve every single day. Like this studio, for example. I hired somebody to build the studio for me in my house. Does it really matter when you watch a video? Maybe a little. Like, if you asked me five years ago, I'd say no. Like, look at my studio five years ago. I didn't even use a professional light. I just filmed whenever it was daylight outside. But I didn't have kids, so it was easier, anyways.

Now I feel like I have to be constantly improving because that's what makes life interesting. Instead of just filming videos in a boring room, let's just make a studio. Let's keep improving. If I made money on videos, let's just invest them in a better team. Let the money flow. Let the money that comes to you work for you. Surround yourself with the best people. Surround yourself with the best ideas. Put yourself in the best environment where you can thrive.

I want to wrap up this video with a quote that I really like. It's better to live in the worst room but in the best hotel versus living in the best room of a bad hotel. Because it's all about environment. Because it's all about the people who surround you. Because if you're surrounded by amazing people, you will try and create something that is going to be great for people who have the best taste.

Okay, that was it for me for today. I hope it was inspiring. I've recently made these changes to my life, and I'm so glad I made them.